Does One Cancel the Other?

I deal with all sorts of people in my job at the senior center. That is part of what makes it interesting. We have everyone from people living on minimal Social Security to people who have never worried about a dollar in their life. We have folks who have lived in town their whole lives, world travelers and people who have moved to town in their dotage to be closer to family. It is a true cross section of people and in some cases I am put in the position of helping people who are not even seniors, but merely people down on their luck. Some have lost jobs, some suffer from mental or physical disabilities and some are recent immigrants. We do what we can to help them through our food bank or by steering them to agencies that can offer them the help they need. There are lot of people out there who spend their life trying to help their fellow humans in ways big and small, and the world is a richer place for them Nonetheless I am confounded by a phenomenon I have run across too often for it to be a fluke. That is the volunteer who sits in judgment on the very people they are supposed to be helping. A few months ago it was a volunteer at a food giveaway who asked an elderly woman why she was getting food since she didn't need it. Granted this woman is not the poorest person we serve, but neither is she dining on lobster and filet mignon every night. There were no restrictions on who could receive food that day, so why this woman felt it was her place to decide who should or shouldn't have food was beyond me. Today it was a volunteer who was collecting information from a woman for whom English was a second language. She spoke English well, but with a thick accent. Her English comprehension wasn't the best and when she didn't understand what she was being asked, the volunteer plainly said, "She's thick." I hope she didn't comprehend that. I was embarrassed for her, but more embarrassed for the volunteer. She may be "thick" but he was rude and condescending. This episode reminded me of a time shortly after my niece and nephew arrived in Connecticut from Vietnam. They spoke only a few words of English upon their arrival, but being children they learned quickly. From time to time though an idiom or piece of slang would trip them up. We found this amusing and would laugh, but it truly was laughing with them, not at them, because they were so darn cute. One night after dinner my nephew asked for a "chocolate dish" and we all laughed. My mother who understood he wanted chocolate ice cream scolded us telling us she would like to see us try to order a dish of chocolate ice cream in Vietnamese. I never forgot that. It can be frustrating dealing with people who sometimes can't even get out of their own way, but it is our responsibility to be kind and not judge too quickly or harshly particularly if we are ostensibly acting as agents of good such as the volunteers I refer to. I often wonder why they bother to volunteer if they hold the needy in such contempt. We all know the old saying: But for the grace of god.... If any of these judgmental folks ever need help I hope the people they turn to are kinder than they have been. Kindness returns kindness.